For Freedom Consulting Group’s Security Manager, Amy S, this is an important time of year. Beyond the warm weather and blooming flowers, April is Autism Awareness Month. Amy’s daughter Reilly, who turns 10 in June, was diagnosed with autism nine years ago and while Amy strives to spread awareness all year long, this month is especially important. That’s why we asked her to sit down with us to talk about her life as a parent to a child with autism, as well as her involvement in the community. Take a look:

Since April is Autism Awareness Month, tell us about your involvement in the community.

I’m an autism advocate all year round, but April definitely brings more attention to autism in general. Over the past several years, I’ve participated in a 100-mile bike ride for autism through Autism Speaks, spoken at a local charity event called Strut & Sip to raise money for Maryland Therapeutic Riding, and have been interviewed for a local news station. Like this article, I always appreciate any opportunity to spread the word about autism. I’ve never said no when asked if I could share Ry’s story! I also engage with other autistic parents to provide any insight that I’ve gained over the last 9 years.

How has FCG supported you and your family through the challenges of raising a child with autism?

FCG Corporate has always supported any request that I’ve made to spread awareness about autism. They’ve done this through supporting me when I requested that FCG Corporate “Light It Up Blue” and share stories of other fellow FCGers who have kids on the spectrum. FCG has been known to donate to Autism Speaks walks and they supported me personally when I participated in the 100-mile bike ride for Team Reilly!

On a personal note, the FCG partners and corporate staff have always been very supportive of Reilly, including keeping her needs in mind at company family events. Reilly is well loved by all and any special consideration needed for Reilly is understood by our team. Reilly has been to several FCG events and always has a blast! Her smile says it all! Also, having the support of FCG (and my boss, Norm) makes balancing a career and full-time parenting to a child with special needs, as well as my other three kids (two sets of twins), much more bearable.

What are some of the joys and struggles that might be unique to families touched by autism?

In terms of struggles, you can’t just go with the flow. We can’t do a lot of typical activities without first considering her needs. When you have a child with special needs, their needs become the priority. We’ve learned to adjust!

Also, autism programs and therapies are expensive. One way that FCG supports this is by offering FSA’s (Medical and Dependent Care) and HSA’s, which allow for pretax dollars for many of these expenses. I take full advantage of any pre-tax savings plans possible for all my kids, especially Reilly. This summer, she is going to a camp for the first time, through Anne Arundel County Parks and Rec., for kids with special needs and their siblings. Our dependent care benefit is allowing me to pay for this on a pre-tax basis.

In the school system, it’s hard to hear how your child compares to a typical child based on standard tests and goals. Autistic children are all very different, so there is no true test or way to compare them either.

Lastly, the doctors just don’t know enough! Because of this, parents are often overwhelmed with too much information and have to spend the first couple of years (or longer) finding their own way to accept and even grieve the loss of the “typical” child they expected.

But in terms of joys, Reilly loves life and is almost always happy! She loves nature, the wind in her face, water, and all that life is about. She experiences life very differently than a “typical” person. She explores life through her senses, taking in all the sensory input experienced throughout the day. She doesn’t have expectations. She never asks for anything and she loves being hugged, squeezed, tickled, etc. She is very smart and knows letters, numbers, matching, sorting, and many of the requirements to hopefully live on her own one day. We teach her daily, at home and through school, how to become independent and try very hard not to put limitations on her. She’s very technically inclined. She can work any device without instruction – she just needs the passcode!

What’s one thing you’d like people to know about raising a child with autism?

Even for the parents that make it look easy, raising an autistic child is not easy! In fact, it’s downright frustrating at times. All we want for Reilly is for her to grow up and have a happy life and be self-reliant. Understanding basic things like potty training is difficult for her at almost 10 years old. Rather than get hung up on what she can’t (or won’t) do, we continue to encourage her.

What advice would you give to parents who first discover their child is autistic?

Take it one day at a time! Focus on what your child can do, and not what your child “can’t” or “won’t” do. Admit it when you need a break. It’s perfectly normal to want the best for your child and get frustrated with their actions at the exact same time. It’s ok to ask for help – you’re going to have to! Grieve the loss of the child you thought you would have. Life will never be typical again! Live through them, one day at a time, with a positive attitude. Tell people your child is autistic if they’re looking at him/her funny during a meltdown in public. Don’t stop believing in your child and sharing autism awareness with the community. The more you share, the more you learn. It took me a while to accept that Reilly is beautifully and wonderfully made, and she’s exactly how God designed her to be. She has a purpose just like the rest of us do – and it’s part of the adventure to find out what that purpose is.